I Don’t Wanna Be a Hiro

I really enjoyed Season #1 of Heroes. I loved the idea of Stan Lee’s universe interpolated as real-world events rather than a world one step aside with spandex and capes. I’m all about that — the grumpier, unshaven version of fantasy.

But, man, does this season stink.

First, I want to kill Molly. The little girl who plays her looks like she’s on the verge of giggling in every scene — even when she’s asleep, for fuck’s sake. I want to remove that midget smirk with a frying pan. It kills every scene she’s in.

Ditto for Micah. But he’s probably just laughing at his own dialog.

And then there’s the bickering between Mohinder and Matt. (Oh, how cute! The three M-skateers!) They sound like a couple of old biddies screetching melodramatically about who gets to scrub the pots. The dialog, the acting, everything just comes off like poo on the pavement.

Don’t even get me started on the so-called Texan family “hiding out” in Southern California in a house that clearly no Kinko’s flunky could ever afford with kids whose voices twang like Dolly Parton’s bra strap. And what about the semi-incestuous thing Claire has for Flying Man #2? Anyone? And does anyone think they didn’t meet under highly suspicious (or badly plotted) circumstances?

Also, someone tell me that Flying Man #1 doesn’t really believe his brother is dead?!? I thought Flying Man #1 was the one who couldn’t regenerate and therefore got blown to bits at some point in the season finale. I guess I gots me all those special hill-bilities confused, then, yep!

Of course, I totally bought Sylar crossing hundreds of miles in the wilderness with a wound that just made him stagger and gasp like an old man having a heart attack. Oh, yeah. Hit me again, Mr. Incredulous! I can’t possibly go bust!

I like Hiro and Ando no matter what they do to them. So, that part doesn’t suck too much. But I’m not sure they can keep with the truly terrible writing of this season.

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