National Poetry Month: The Resume

You don’t have to know anything about astrology to enjoy this poem. But as a long-time astrologer, I’m surprised at how seldom the art has influenced my writing. Virgo rules the 6th House, which represents work, and Venus rules relationships. Since my own Venus is in Virgo, I wrote this poem about it. It was a long time ago, but it still delights me.

The Resume: A Poem to My Venus in Virgo (Unaspected, Retrograde)

I called Aphrodite’s office today
and spoke to the guy
in her HR department.
(You know his name.)
I reminded him
he had my resume on file.

“Yeah, there are
a lot of people
out of love right now,”
he said.
“We haven’t had
an unromantic rate
this high in
quite a while.”

It doesn’t matter
I said.
It shouldn’t be
so hard
to place me.

“Let’s take a look
at your history,”
he said, squinting
at my resume.
(Yes, I could hear his squint
over the phone.)
“You don’t have any experience,”
he remarked with rue.

I told him
that’s simply not true.

“But these are crushes,”
he replied.
“They don’t count.
You can’t count anything
you’ve done on spec.”

But all I need
I said
is the right
I have skills like
communication and honesty,
dedication, compassion,
and, most importantly,
a Life.
Looks are not required
but since I’m often admired
I believe I have those, too —
at least
that’s what I’m told.

“Yes, that’s a bonus,”
he granted. “But still,
there are people
with way more experience.
In fact,
there are those
who are rarely
out of love.”

But those people
I explained
have Venus-Mars aspects,
or else they’re
and that’s hardly fair.
(And being always in love
is not really healthy,
I added under my breath.)

He reluctantly agreed.

I don’t want to be
in love with just anyone
You see.
I have my requirements
although a bit high.
He’s got to have
— and want —
the same things as I.

“But a lot of these people
on your list of
romantic targets
have not had any openings
in quite a while.”

That’s okay
I told him
I listed them there
so you’d know my style.

He reviewed my skills
one more time.
“We shouldn’t have
much trouble placing you,”
he said with a sigh.
He paused, reading.
“Ah! I think I see
The Problem,”
He said.
“Look at your Objective.
It says:
To be in love.”

Oh, crap!
I exclaimed.
That’s my old resume.
It’s way out of date.
My progressed Venus
is no longer
in a retrograde state.
Let me email you
my new one.

Within moments
he got the file
where I’d made the change.
To find a partner
someone with whom
to share my life
and, in some ways,
make me more complete.

This made him
much more cheerful.
“Okay, alrighty,
I got your new resume!
With all things considered
I’ll get on it today.”

I thanked him, but
when I hung up
I realized
I should’ve asked about pay.

Obama Doubts His Faith? (Prediction Comes True)

Remember in this previous blog post when I said:

On the other hand, his transits on January 21, 2013 are definitely indicative of a pleasant inauguration day. Lots of heartfelt communication, expansion in power (although not an easy one), and a sense of new self. This comes  after a seriously brutal transit of guilt and self-doubt around the middle of December. He might even have heavy religious doubts. On inauguration day, he’ll still be reeling from the burst bubble.

And then this happened:

On December 14, 2012, Adam Lanza, 20 years old, fatally shot twenty children and six adult staff members at Sandy Hook Elementary School in the Sandy Hook village of Newtown, Connecticut. He had killed his mother, Nancy Lanza, at their nearby Newtown home before driving to the school. After shooting the students and staff members, he committed suicide.

If ever there was something faith-shaking…this is it.

While you have seen him tear up, you can believe he has taken this deeply to heart. He probably even blames himself — if not for what happened, then most certainly for anything that might happen later.

I don’t mind if he has a crisis of faith. It’s healthy and makes us rely more on reason than blind expectations. And while I want him to make this personal, I don’t want him to take this personally and crumple. I hope he finds the strength because he’s going against powerful foes as he backs an assault rifle ban. I want them to feel the concrete in his fist when it hits the political structures that have kept this country at the mercy of NRA interests.

Rock on, Mr. President. We, the People, are behind you. The reasonable People, anyway.

Big-Ass Astrology Predictions About the Election and Beyond

Past Spooky-licious Predictions

Every election, I sift through a lot of astro crap and make predictions based on what I see. I’ve been doing this for almost as long as I’ve been studying astrology, which has been about 16 years now. And every election, I freak everyone the fuck out. About a week before the Gore/Bush election day, I asked a co-worker if he knew of any reason the results would be delayed. He shrugged me off. But the day AFTER the election, he stomped into the office, slammed down his backpack on his desk, pointed at me and yelled, “SPOOKY!” smile And then just before the election after that, I was at the World Fantasy Convention book signing on Halloween when I told John Lawson of Raw Dog Screaming Press and his partner that I not only didn’t see Kerry winning, but I definitely foresaw John Edwards having a major family crisis three days before the Kerry/Bush election.

Of course, a few days later Edwards made an announcement on November 2nd about his wife Elizabeth’s cancer. Lawson’s partner later remarked in my LJ that she remembered what I’d said at WFC, calling it “freaky accuracy.”

Veep Charts are Louder

It’s been tough finding time to scour the charts this year, but I’m doing it. Part of the problem was that we didn’t have good birth data for Romney for a while and we certainly didn’t know who his running mate would be until fairly recently. (And if I don’t have accurate birth data, the reading is garbage.) Anyway, what I’ve found in the past is that the charts of the Vice President candidates speak louder than the Presidential candidate charts. Weird, huh? I never even had a birth time for Sarah Palin, but it was obvious astrologically, if not in every other way — that they were going to lose because she had a very slow and dramatic martyr transit at that time.


POTUS is pretty inscrutable in general, but he’s especially cloudy on the day of the election. He has no transits either way. Nothing to say, “Fuck yeah, I won!” or even to say, “Make it a triple, bartender.” (There’s one sort of “Lemme attum!” transit — fairly minor — and the vestiges of a major “romance” transit.) Even his progressions — what astrologers think of as the personal evolution — don’t reveal much except that, like it or not, Obama is probably going to continue to try to go after things as a peacemaker (progressed Mars at 25Libra) and the oligarchy (squaring natal Saturn 25Capricorn) is going to take a dump on him, but this time in some ways he’s going to get a lot more “action” (sextiling natal Uranus 25Leo). On the other hand, his transits on January 21, 2013 are definitely indicative of a pleasant inauguration day. Lots of heartfelt communication, expansion in power (although not an easy one), and a sense of new self. This comes  after a seriously brutal transit of guilt and self-doubt around the middle of December. He might even have heavy religious doubts. On inauguration day, he’ll still be reeling from the burst bubble.

For what it’s worth, I don’t think the third debate is going to go well for him. Transiting Saturn will be directly square his natal Mercury, making him feel more hindered around speech than ever before.


Like the Veep himself, Biden’s chart is chatty. The day of the election, he is Mr. Talkin’ About It. He’s got major communication happening. And Neptune is opening him up in a big, compassionate way. In his progressions (that inner evolution I mentioned), he’s becoming more ambassadorial (THANK GOD). He has a progression of powerlessness and self-sacrifice that’s been active for a while. It hit its zenith this summer and is just starting to pass a tiny bit. He has a very interesting fortunate influence around any fights he picks. If he wants something, he’ll probably get it.


So, let’s look at Romney. If we have good birth data for him, then things are already looking astrologically dim. And, while we’re at it, we can throw in Ryan because these two share the same ascendant but within a degree apart (as well as Venus at 10Aquarius — get a room, you two!). Romney’s ascendant is at 1Gemini and Ryan’s is at 0Gemini. Not just on election day but for some time, transiting Neptune is squaring both of their ascendants (and, for that matter, their descendants, which represent their relationship with the public). This means loss of contacts, questioning of identity and career, cloudy communication — in short, not at all what I’d expect from two dudes who are about to lead the free world.

And if they are, we are in huge trouble.

Although the lucky lightning strike to his reputation (transiting Uranus) that he had during the first debate will have moved a bit out of range, he’s going to feel quite confident the night before and even the morning of. It’s a very minor transit he shares with Ryan that will pass. The Neptune transit is a mutherfucker that will hang around for some time. (FYI: Sarah Palin’s martyr transit involved Neptune.)


The real talker in these charts is Ryan’s. In addition to the Neptune business I mentioned in Romney’s reading, dude is currently going through the classic midlife crisis with transiting Neptune square his natal Neptune. He’s going to look at his life as it is on election day and find it doesn’t add up to his ideals. Actually, my heart goes out to him because I hated this transit. It stripped me down to my soul and made me question everything. To have it during and after something as brutal as a national election is going to be hell. He’s also got The Saturn Square just passing — another classic midlife crisis transit. Is he a grownup? Or not? That’s what he’ll find out. Not as dramatic as John Edward’s transits in 2004, but Ryan’s got a talkative transit that day due to strife at home. Later in the month, he’s going to feel crushed, even trapped in his life goals and social groups. The opposite of expansive and confident. But he’ll undergo a temperance that will make him more formidable in the future…

And on Inauguration Day? While Romney has one gentle expansion transit to his career, Romney and Ryan both will be Unhappiness Personified — transiting Saturn at 10Scorpio is squaring their shared natal Venus at 10Aquarius.


I support Obama and Biden for reelection, but in the past I’ve called it for people I wasn’t supporting. I voted for both Gore and Kerry, and I really wanted them to win, but they didn’t have it in the stars and I said so.

One Last Spooky Word

Before I go, I want to say something that I hope won’t worry too many people. At the beginning of this post, I mentioned how I predicted that there’d be a delay in the 2000 election results. That was for two reasons 1) neither Bush nor Gore had definitive transits either way for at least a month after the election date and 2) Mercury was retrograde.

This year, Mercury goes retrograde the day after the election. It’s practically retrograde as people are voting — what astrologers call “station retrograde,” which means Mercury appears to be standing still. No action. Stuck information. While I’m not sure there will be a delay per se (and there well could be), the media and everyone else is going to go haywire. I mean, everyone’s head is going to be on fucking fire. My gut says people will be thunderously demanding a recount. It might not be granted, but Mercury tends to slip a stick of C-4 in everything. And since Romney and Ryan both have Gemini ascendants, I say this is going to be MUCH more about them, although Obama will feel it, too, with his Gemini moon.

Which is why looking to Inauguration Day is key.