You don’t have to know anything about astrology to enjoy this poem. But as a long-time astrologer, I’m surprised at how seldom the art has influenced my writing. Virgo rules the 6th House, which represents work, and Venus rules relationships. Since my own Venus is in Virgo, I wrote this poem about it. It was a long time ago, but it still delights me.
The Resume: A Poem to My Venus in Virgo (Unaspected, Retrograde)
I called Aphrodite’s office today
and spoke to the guy
in her HR department.
(You know his name.)
I reminded him
he had my resume on file.
“Yeah, there are
a lot of people
out of love right now,”
he said.
“We haven’t had
an unromantic rate
this high in
quite a while.”
It doesn’t matter
I said.
It shouldn’t be
so hard
to place me.
“Let’s take a look
at your history,”
he said, squinting
at my resume.
(Yes, I could hear his squint
over the phone.)
“You don’t have any experience,”
he remarked with rue.
I told him
that’s simply not true.
“But these are crushes,”
he replied.
“They don’t count.
You can’t count anything
you’ve done on spec.”
But all I need
I said
is the right
opportunity.
I have skills like
communication and honesty,
dedication, compassion,
and, most importantly,
a Life.
Looks are not required
but since I’m often admired
I believe I have those, too —
at least
that’s what I’m told.
“Yes, that’s a bonus,”
he granted. “But still,
there are people
with way more experience.
In fact,
there are those
who are rarely
out of love.”
But those people
I explained
have Venus-Mars aspects,
or else they’re
Librans,
and that’s hardly fair.
(And being always in love
is not really healthy,
I added under my breath.)
He reluctantly agreed.
I don’t want to be
in love with just anyone
You see.
I have my requirements
although a bit high.
He’s got to have
— and want —
the same things as I.
“But a lot of these people
on your list of
romantic targets
have not had any openings
in quite a while.”
That’s okay
I told him
I listed them there
so you’d know my style.
He reviewed my skills
one more time.
“We shouldn’t have
much trouble placing you,”
he said with a sigh.
He paused, reading.
“Ah! I think I see
The Problem,”
He said.
“Look at your Objective.
It says:
To be in love.”
Oh, crap!
I exclaimed.
That’s my old resume.
It’s way out of date.
My progressed Venus
is no longer
in a retrograde state.
Let me email you
my new one.
Within moments
he got the file
where I’d made the change.
Objective:
To find a partner
someone with whom
to share my life
and, in some ways,
make me more complete.
This made him
much more cheerful.
“Okay, alrighty,
I got your new resume!
With all things considered
I’ll get on it today.”
I thanked him, but
when I hung up
I realized
I should’ve asked about pay.
