It was late yesterday afternoon, early evening. I asked The Frenchman, “What the hell was that?” when I knew very well what that was. He responded that it wasn’t hunting season yet, so he wasn’t sure what was happening. I became very concerned that my morning and afternoon strolls into the countryside now had a whole new face of danger. Vipers and scorpions I can deal with. They hide under rocks and in the tall grass. I can avoid that. But Frenchmen with guns in the woods?
I know it sounds like I’m having the time of my life here, and quite often I am. However, given all the challenges of being out of my element and living abroad, I get to sit here each day and wrestle a new emotional demon. Anxiety, depression, insecurity, jealousy, fear. It’s a damned wrestling match du jour, I tell ya. I’d better have great big bulging muscles when it’s over because I’m getting a lot of practice tossing these fuckers around all day. The good news is that nothing has taken a firm hold of me yet; it’s usually the mornings that wear me out and by the afternoons I’ve worked through whatever was turning me sideways. They say it’s spiritual death to stay in one’s comfort zone all the time. I’d rather be fighting any day.
It’s raining hard in Aix. I probably need more sleep because the rain woke me up and kept me awake from 4:00-5:00am; I seem to need more sleep than ever. I have one of the upstairs windows open because the rain is so beautiful, so savage and fragrant, that I can’t get enough of it. I’m compiling a list of questions for a professional I might consult regarding the police plotline for OUT OF BODY. I don’t know yet if I can afford the consultation, but the questions alone are an excellent starting place for my research.
Back to writing.