Last night’s rest was fine until they pushed me on the pirate ship.

I was frantically looking around at everyone, disparaging their clothing as mere “costumes.” I loudly demanded a sword. Someone thrust a corset into my arms, a damned light blue and white corset that was too long in the waist and full of metal stays. I could never fight in it. I threw it aside and grabbed a guy by the shoulder, tearing him around. “A SWORD!” I yelled. I saw they were training a woman on the far deck. I punched the guy when he didn’t give me one. They promptly kicked me off the ship…

…which had just arrived at a dock by a great mansion. I was ushered inside and I saw my sword teacher sitting at the end of the grand hallway before a tall window full of sunlight and gauzy shades. She was reading to her students from what looked like a crumbling copy of Domenico Angelo’s, The School of Fencing.

Just before I could shout to her, I heard a cranky little meow from the corridor behind me. It was Ophelia! My little bluish gray kitty with shining fur. I reached down for her, but she ran away. Typical! I called to her: Ophelia! Opheeeeee-leee-ahhhh! She turned the corner to another corridor. I raced after her and then stopped suddenly.

She had split into two identical cats! They both meowed at me with irritation, then continued running down the corridor to another. Each time I encountered a turn, I found she had split. Four…eight…sixteen… Eventually, we were so far down into the bowels of the great house that we’d found a sewer. Nasty black prickly creatures crawled from the disgusting waters and came after me as they gnashed their spiny teeth. But all of my Ophelias jumped into the fray and killed them before I could be harmed…