Tonight I come home and find a religious tract stuck in my door.

It says, “Aimeriez-Vous Connaitre La Vérité?”

Weirdly enough, the Jehovah’s Witnesses had left a tract on my door — in French.

Now I’m wondering how they knew I spoke or read French. Was it a crazy neighbor who heard me speaking in French to Robie? (I do this as he watches me lock the door through the window when I’m leaving in the morning.)

Or was this the most utterly random thing in the universe? I don’t even want to know that there’s such a thing as a French Jehovah’s Witness running around sticking tracts in people’s doors. That’s a crime against both nature and good wine.

Perhaps the Alliance Francaise de Los Angeles sold my address to these kooks. I think I need to make a call…