So, OKCupid has posted some analyses they’ve done of their user profiles.

The most interesting of all are the correlations between religion and writing proficiency, with few surprises there except that non-serious Buddhists seem to be the best writers followed closely by serious atheists. Otherwise, pretty much what I would expect. Is it that Protestants think someday they’ll inherit a scribe like Paul to follow them around and write their letters? The mind boggles.

I love a lot of the things on the list of what white male OKCupid users like:

I haven’t seen Blazing Saddles yet. Lord Arux thinks I’ll love it, and I’m sure I will. And I forgot to circle “brew” and “a few beers.”

According to OKCupid’s Christian Rudder: “Unless you’re counting Queens of the Stone Age, there is not even one vaguely feminine thing on his list, and as far as broad categories go we have: sweaty guitar rock, bro-on-bro comedies, things with engines, and dystopias.

I guess I like a lot of unfeminine things. Which explains why, when we get to the white female users, I feel like a freaking alien:

“My toes”? “I’m blond”? What are we, a bunch of fucking Barbie dolls?

And “Diet Coke”? Let’s get one thing straight: Diet Coke tastes like lighter fluid, okay? You women who profess to like Diet Coke have been totally brainwashed into thinking you have to like “skinny drinks” or else your ass will explode into a zepplin.

I so cannot relate. CANNOT.

All hail The Dropkick Murphys and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy! If that means I lose an X chromosome, rip it off, whydoncha?

Although, maybe it’s just the Caucasian thing. I can relate much more to what Latinas like:

I just circled “my B.A.” more to emphasize the inanity of “my toes.” I can let “Twilight Saga” slide because of 100 Years of Solitude and Isabel Allende. As for the other races, Middle Eastern women on OKCupid are the closest I can relate to.

But white chicks? No way.