The Gospel of Snarky

An English translation of The Gospel of Judas has now been published, brought to you by The National Geographic Society in the US, the intellectually dishonest sonsuvbitches who made such a big deal over the so-called ossuary of “James, son of Joseph, Brother of Jesus” , yet completely failed to report when it was declared a fake. Let’s see…what makes more money? Headlines about Jesus being real? Or headlines about Jesus being fake?

But the Gospel of Judas puts Judas in a positive light, identifying him as Christ’s favourite disciple and depicting his betrayal as the fulfilment of a divine mission to enable the crucifixion – and thus the foundation of Christianity – to take place. This view is similar to that held by the Gnostics – members of a 2nd Century AD breakaway Christian sect, who became rivals to the early Church.

Yup, the Gnostics. The same folks who created the first New Testament collection of letters, which originally had Paul’s letters while the rest of Christendom was rejecting him. Why, you ask? Because he wasn’t talking about a Jesus they recognized. (And he wasn’t.) But when Paul became, like, totally popular, they, like, nabbed his shit to include it in their own New Testament. The church leaders then wrote Acts to somehow reconcile Paul’s views with the Gospels, as the two were not in synch (and still aren’t).

Please note that this document is from something like the 3rd or 4th century, and that it’s allegedly based on a 2nd century text. I’m sure it’s very interesting, but this is in no way a contemporary document of Jesus’ time. And, strangely enough, it echoes what Mormonism’s “Fortunate Fall.” If mankind didn’t fall, mankind couldn’t be saved. And according to the Gnostics, if Jesus wasn’t crucified, we wouldn’t be saved. It only makes sense. You’d ultimately have to do some kind of intellectual Cirque du Soleil to cast the Serpent and Judas in a bad light, but they were only doing what they were told to do. And it wasn’t like Jesus or God suffered any more than anyone else on earth. Ask any parent who lost a child in 9/11; I bet their kids didn’t even get to go to Heaven and get godlike action figure scepter power.

Speaking of which, I really need to finish the Judas story I started…

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